Draft Dodger Rag (Inauguration Week Song 4)

U.S. Inauguration Week Special #4
(Song begins at 1:42)
By Phil Ochs
Rise Up Singing chapter: Peace, p.154
G - / A - / D7 - / - G ://
Jobless Americans turning to military enlistment.
Thinking of enlisting?


Lyrics:
Well I'm just a typical American boy
From a typical American town
I believe in God and Senator Dodd
And in keeping old Castro down
And when it came my time to serve
I knew "Better dead then red"
But when I got to my old draft board, Buddy
This is what I said:

Sarge, I'm only 18, I got a ruptured spleen
And I always carry a purse
I got eyes like a bat and my feet are flat
And my asthma's getting worse
Oh, think of my career, my sweetheart dear
And my poor old invalid aunt
Besides I ain't no fool, I'm a-going to school
And I'm working in a defense plant

I got a dislocated disc and a racked-up back
I'm allergic to flowers and bugs
When the bombshell hits I get epileptic fits
And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs
I got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes
I can hardly reach my knees
And if the enemy came close to me
I'd probably start to sneeze

I hate Chou En-Lai, and I hope he dies
But one thing you gotta see
Is that someone's got to go over there
And that someone isn't me
So I wish you well, Sarge, give 'em hell
Kill me a thousand or so
And if you ever get a war without blood and gore
I'll be the first to go!